


MAG181.5:  The Man Onstage

by CatenbyRomeo



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Canon-Typical The Slaughter Content (The Magnus Archives), Canon-Typical Violence, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, M/M, My working title for this was Mosh Pit but with Knives if that tells you anything, Statement Fic (The Magnus Archives), The Mechanisms Were The Archivist's College Band, The rating is because of violence, This is set after MAG181, Warning for second person POV in the statement part, Yes I made Nikola sympathetic. Yes she's not even here., You can skip over the statement and it won't affect anything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:08:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26894200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatenbyRomeo/pseuds/CatenbyRomeo
Summary: An examination of a mosh pit at the concert of a band known as Grifter's Bone.  Audio recorded by The Archivist, in situ.Warnings for violence and second person POV in the actual statement part (it can be skipped over).  If I forgot to tag something please tell me.
Relationships: Helen | The Distortion & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist & Martin Blackwood, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist & Alfred Grifter, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Nikola Orsinov & Alfred Grifter (mentioned)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 45





	MAG181.5:  The Man Onstage

**Author's Note:**

> I've spent two weeks working on this and if the new episode is anything like it I'm going to cry.
> 
> My Tumblr is [Toysold1er](https://toysold1er.tumblr.com)
> 
> I'd like to note that everything said by Alfred Grifter should be read in the same tone as "Good morning Inspector Lyf!"

[EXT. ENGLAND, AROUND LONDON, IN THE STADIUM]

[TAPE CLICKS ON]

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS LOUDLY]

MARTIN

I’ve never been so relieved my mother never let me go to concerts.

ARCHIVIST

They’re not  _ all  _ like this

MARTIN

Let me guess, they usually don’t have so many knives?

ARCHIVIST

Well, yes, but usually people follow mosh pit etiquette 

MARTIN

_ Mosh pit etiquette? _ Isn’t it just senseless violence?

ARCHIVIST

Well, no, if you get knocked over or injured everyone stops to help you get up and out, if you find a lost item you hold it over your head, you don’t throw things or target a particular person and if anyone’s breaking the rules then they get kicked out

MARTIN

If you say so. Do you think you need to make a statement now? Before we get to close to the… well…

ARCHIVIST

That would be for the best, cover your ears.

[STATIC RISES]

ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)

There is nothing but the pit.

Nothing but the sounds of flesh cutting and bones cracking, no time to think, no time to rationalize what is happening.

Just the pounding of feet, bodies crashing to the ground, and the man onstage.

You always worried about these things your brother went to. That is, if you have a brother, you can’t quite remember his name, or his face. It doesn’t matter, it’s not like you’ll ever have to worry about seeing him again. It’s not like you have time to worry. You haven’t had time for any thoughts since you were dragged into the pit. 

It’s almost rhythmic, the pit. Almost. It’s not quite in-sync with the man onstage, it would never be that predictable, but it’d like you to think it is. You don’t know this though. You don’t have time to know anything, other than that the knife is in your hand. And even then you aren’t fully sure which hand is yours. You can barely see through the blood.

Someone slams into you. You throw yourself into somebody else. A skull fractures beneath your feet with a sickening crack. Despite what your morals say, you continue to slash through the crowd, it’s kill or be killed, and when the rest of the pit is dead, you’ll turn the knife on yourself. Assuming you wouldn’t have been trampled first, of course.

The man onstage continues to sing. You think he’s singing, that is. His refrain is mesmerizing, but you don’t have time to make out what it is. You stab and mangle and throw yourself into the fray, you can’t stop. You cannot see the man onstage.

But the man onstage can see you. The man onstage controls the violence, even you know this. But do you know you’re his muse? How could you not? You continue to maim and tear and slice and disfigure and throw yourself into the brutality for him. Is it so he doesn’t turn on you? He could easily throw himself into the pit, he could easily decide to mutilate and dismember and hack and harm and hurt you. And you don’t want to be hurt. Or is there another reason you continue this onslaught? Is it because you love the man onstage? You’ve never seen his face, you don’t know if he knows you as anything but part of the pit. But you don’t care, you love the man onstage blindly, and if injury is what he desires, you’ll mar flesh and tarnish the ground with blood. Or is he an excuse? Is the man onstage the one who makes you raise the knife, is he the one who likes the torture, or the popping of broken bones? Do you want to hurt people? 

The man onstage knows the answer.

You carve and slice and cut with your knife to the wail of the guitar. Your heart pounds alongside the drum as bodies fall around you. The crimson that has blinded you doesn’t hinder your knife as it finds new sinews to cut and muscles to tear. You can feel the carnage lapping against your ankles, you can’t afford to slip, or you’ll be run over by the horde. 

You plant your bloodied heels in the ground and look up. And just for a moment you see him. For just a moment you stop and listen to his bloodstained lullaby, and it is beautiful. For a moment. His eyes meet yours and you can see how cold and cruel they are, and you can see that all of this has been for  _ nothing _ , he smiles viciously, and someone crashes into you. Your head hits the ground with a sickening snap. And you get trampled under the feet of the congregation. Your limbs are flattened and your ribs inverted. 

The song continues as corpses pile on top of you. You won’t be entombed for much longer though, the silence that comes with death is too good for you, and soon the song will start again, and you won’t know anything, and the knife will be in your hand. 

Or maybe you’ll just stay there as everyone around you dies.

After all, there’s nothing but the pit.

[STATIC SOUNDS]

[TAPE CLICKS OFF]

\---------

[TAPE CLICKS ON]

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS LOUDLY]

MARTIN

Jon? Where are we going?

ARCHIVIST

Onstage, it’s the only way to avoid…  _ that… _

MARTIN

And is  _ he _ going to be okay with that?

ARCHIVIST

I hope so…

[A DOOR CREAKS OPEN]

MARTIN

What do you want, Helen?

HELEN

Oh, don’t mind  _ me _ ,  _ I’m _ just here to watch the show. It isn’t often that Grifter’s Bone has a concert that’s safe to  _ attend _ , as long as you avoid the pit, that is.

ARCHIVIST

_ Great… _

[THREE SETS OF FOOTSTEPS WALKING UP STAIRS]

[THE GUITAR -AND THE REST OF THE MUSIC- ENDS ON A FOUL NOTE]

ALFRED

_ (exaggerated)  _ Well, well, well,  _ what _ do we have here?

MARTIN

_ Shit. _

ARCHIVIST

Ah- Uh, I’m the archivist.

ALFRED

I can tell  _ that _ , I’m not blind! I mean your  _ name _ ! You do have one, don’t you?

ARCHIVIST

Uh, yes, I’m Jonathan Sims, or- just Jon works.

ALFRED

And the other two?

ARCHIVIST

Uh, there’s my boyfriend, Martin and uh- Helen is here too, I’m not sure why.

HELEN 

Why wouldn’t I want to spend time with the apocalypse’s favorite couple?

MARTIN

Go  _ away _ Helen.

ALFRED

Well now that we know who everyone is-

ARCHIVIST

You didn’t tell us who you are.

[ALFRED SIGHS]

ALFRED

Don’t you already _know_? Can’t you just _look_ into my head?

ARCHIVIST

I’ve heard about you in statements before, but I think it’s only polite for you to introduce yourself.

ALFRED

Well it is always good to hear that my reputation precedes me! If you truly must know, I’m Alfred Grifter, and this is my domain!

HELEN

Is your last name  _ really _ Grifter? Did your parents get together and say “Okay, let’s name our kid Alfred Con Artist?” That’d be like if I was named Helen Manslaughter!

ALFRED

_(annoyed)_ Yes, my last name really is Grifter. Anyway-

HELEN

Can you imagine if everyone was named like that? Martin, what would you be called? 

MARTIN

The ‘K’ in Martin K Blackwood already stands for “knife’, so I don’t think anything could beat that.

HELEN

Does it  _ really _ ?

[THE ARCHIVIST LAUGHS]

MARTIN

_ (trying not to laugh)  _ Yes.

ALFRED

_ (loudly) Changing the subject now _ , Jon, you may be the next big thing everywhere else, but, this is my concert and it appears that  _ our dear watcher _ never taught you proper manners!

ARCHIVIST

Believe me, I’d never dream of it under normal circumstances but…

[THERE’S A TEMPORARY SILENCE AS THE ARCHIVIST GESTURES TO THE PIT]

ALFRED

Under normal circumstances I highly doubt you’d be here.

ARCHIVIST

What do you mean by that?

ALFRED

_ (holding back laughter)  _ I mean that I don’t believe you’ve ever been to a concert, you’re too straight-laced.

ARCHIVIST

I am not!

[ALFRED LAUGHS]

ALFRED

Prove it!

ARCHIVIST

I was in a band in college!

ALFRED

Weren’t we all?

ARCHIVIST

We were a storytelling musical cabaret band who performed sci-fi versions of myths and folktales while pretending to be immortal space pirates. Almost all of my former bandmates have since given statements, the rest either turned out to have been avatars the whole time, or became an archival assistant.

ALFRED

Wait, wait, wait- Was your college band _ The Mechanisms _ ?

ARCHIVIST

You’ve heard of us?

ALFRED

It’s rare that a band manages to slip under my radar, much less a  _ good  _ band. I’d know about you whether or not Nikola Orsinov called me at 3am asking how to read music because she joined a band.

ARCHIVIST

I- Uh.

ALFRED

Back in the day she specifically told me I couldn’t cover any of your songs because she  _ (mockingly)  _ “didn’t want them to be used to hurt people”, but as you must know, Nikola is long gone, so I have a question for you.

ARCHIVIST

No, the answer is absolutely not.

ALFRED

Pity! Well Jon, it seems like I misjudged you at first! But in my defense, you’ve really seemed to get  _ boring  _ in recent years!

ARCHIVIST

I have not!

ALFRED

_ (mock surprise) Really? _ Ah yes, I must have forgotten that space pirate Jonny d’Ville, who has broken every non-sexual crime they have a name for, was, what? A tired academic?

ARCHIVIST

Look, I’ll admit I’ve changed a lot, but I haven’t gotten  _ boring _ !

ALFRED

_ (taunting, you can practically hear the smirk in his voice)  _ Are you  _ sure _ ?

ARCHIVIST

I am! I can prove it! Give me the mic!

ALFRED

Gladly!

[THE SOUNDS OF A MICROPHONE BEING THROWN AND THEN CAUGHT]

[THE ARCHIVIST TAKES A DEEP, SHAKY BREATH]

ARCHIVIST

_ (singing)  _ Take Aurora in, gently Nastya! Let’s see what these Rosies can do!

[ALFRED’S GUITAR COMES IN]

ARCHIVIST [CONT’D]

Gotta say I’m in the mood for violence, and I reckon you might be too!

[OTHER INSTRUMENTS START PLAYING FROM NOWHERE]

ARCHIVIST [CONT’D]

Let’s get this party started! The only way we know! Gunfire and explosions! That’s our cue!

[TAPE CLICKS OFF]

\-----

[TAPE CLICKS ON]

[THE MUSIC IS IN FULL SWING]

ARCHIVIST

...Elysian fields, where I can…

[THE MUSIC FINISHES]

ARCHIVIST

_ (out of breath)  _ So, did I prove you wrong?

ALFRED

You did, I take back what I said.

ARCHIVIST

I can do a really good incantation too

ALFRED

I’m aware, but for the sake of our world, how about you don’t demonstrate that, for now, at least.

ARCHIVIST

For the sake of our world?

ALFRED

_ (gleefully)  _ Look at the crowd! Look how they’re tearing themselves apart! And all for you! 

[THE SOUNDS OF THE CROWD’S PAINED SCREAMING BECOMES CLEAR NOW]

ARCHIVIST

No- no it couldn’t have been because of- no.

ALFRED [CONT’D]

Look at the sky! Do you think the world would have been reconstructed so seamlessly if your voice wasn’t crystal clear!

ARCHIVIST

I- no. It can’t-

ALFRED

And you didn’t have a patron just like mine helping you along! I’ve always been astounded at the ability of the human voice to have such an  _ effect  _ on people!  _ (bitterly)  _ Not that I’ll ever know what that’s  _ truly  _ like, thanks to my  _ patron _ . I wonder if that’s why Nikola joined that band of yours…

ARCHIVIST

I-

MARTIN

_ (pointedly)  _ We should be going.

ARCHIVIST

Yes, we should be… 

ALFRED

_ (upbeat again)  _ Well, there goes all my fun! If you ever get your band back together, call me if you need an opening act!

ARCHIVIST

...I’ll consider it.

ALFRED

Oh! After this is all over, be sure to come to one of my shows sometime! I’ll give you a backstage pass!

ARCHIVIST

I’ll try to.

[TAPE CLICKS OFF]

\------

[EXT. FAR AWAY FROM THE STADIUM, BUT STILL WITHIN EARSHOT OF IT]

[TAPE CLICKS ON]

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS FAINTLY IN THE BACKGROUND]

MARTIN

The  _ nerve  _ of him-!

HELEN

Jealous again, are we?

MARTIN

I am not jealou- How do you know about that?

HELEN

I’m always around  _ somewhere _ , you two really are entertaining!

MARTIN

Thanks…?

ARCHIVIST

...You don’t need to be jealous, Martin.

MARTIN

You never told  _ me  _ you were in a band!

ARCHIVIST

I never thought of it. I’m pretty sure Georgie would remember it better than I would, she used to do the lighting, I was the lead singer but I always used to zone out during performances. I think she still has all our CDs, unless she got rid of them because she hates me…

MARTIN

I’m sure she doesn’t hate you.

ARCHIVIST

When I woke up from my coma she told me she wished I had died instead.

MARTIN

_ Oh. _

[FABRIC RUSTLES]

HELEN

You two are just so sweet together! Anyways, I want to hear more about space pirates!

ARCHIVIST

Well, there was this lesbian space vampire doctor named Carmilla and-

[TAPE CLICKS OFF]


End file.
